I have never been in a place where the facilities were tailor made to meet tourist demands so quickly. The place i was at was like a remake of Shinjuku only with very very different forms of .. entertainment. The malls i went to in the afternoon had floor after floor of japanese restaurants and shops. But you're not here to read about my review on pad thai or how my shock of make shift dildo stalls on the street markets fade like my reaction to ladyboys after seeing so many of them.
Its not a party in Bangkok until you have to cover your face to tell the story at one point of time. I might lose some friends and possibly be seen in a different light after this. but this is my "one time in Bangkok" story. Its no hang over movie and the closest thing to a face tattoo was the words "poop" written on my leg while i slept on the plane.
After a japanese dinner i found myself here.
The neon lights together with the very enthusiastic club promoters pulled me into the very shady walkway of people shouting "Konichiwa!" , " Ni hao!" as an attempt to get us in. Felt like a game show of "guess that race" walking through it, as if i will enter the first club that can guess my race. I was in Bangkok,
what the hell right.
I went into a boys gogo bar and there is no where to go for a straight girl because if you go to a girl's bar, BAM men. boys bar.. BAM gay men. I got looks and nodded at the 3 other girls in the bar amongst the sea of men. I felt like a drunk in a mosque. So i sat there drinking with a friend, looking at the boys in tighty whiteties standing on stage. Then after about 30 mins, dancers in cowboy boots came out and did a couple of fist pumps. It was cute but nothing like the Bangkok I had built in my mind. "This isn't so bad." I naively thought.
Then the lights dimmed as the dancers exited, stage left. I sat in anticipation to see what was about to happen next. Apparently, unbeknownst to me at that time, the "big cock show" was about to start. This was far from a prance across the hen house. Imagine my surprise when men, looking like they were dressed by the village people, came out.. living up to the title of the show. I thought there were drugs in my drink and i was on a trip. In the words of my friend Graham, it could only be described as a baby's arm holding an apple. I choked on my drink.
And after that, the stage cleared for the shemale
big cock show. I've never felt so impressed and perturbed at the same time. I saw men purchasing men and it felt different from the time i went into the girl version of all of this the day before with mum. I had so many burning unanswered questions. When 7 men and 1 whip came out, the announcer hyped up the crowd for .. wait for it.. the fuck show. My first thought was,
"Shouldn't it be an even number of people?"
My doubt was cleared very graphically 2 mins into the show and i drew the line. I left and walked around for a bit. Stumbled into a few bars and one of which was girls and ladyboys bar. It was pretty easy to pick out the ladyboys from the ladies. They were gorgeous. I shit you not. The line of ladyboys looked like Girls Generation if they were going through a low point in their career.
The night went on and I started to ask a few thai locals there where was a good place to go. 2 guys asked my friend and I if I liked thai music. After some talking, they brought us to a HUGE restaurant styled thai club. (side note kids, stranger danger is real.) It was a little far from where the main bars were at. For the sake of the story, lets call these two men, Tom and Guy. On the way to the bar, it was mentioned that they worked at a boys bar. So I was partying in a place where there was live thai music in room full of lady boys and SDG$36 bottle of whisky.. with show boys.
It was amazing. The DJ said something in Thai and the crowd responded with woos and yeahs. So my friend and i chimed in not wanting to be left out. Tom and guy broke out laughing because apparently the DJ said "LADYBOYS SAY YEAH!" And that, boys and girls, is how i know Kathoey means ladyboy in thai. For the next couple of days, this song was stuck in my head.
Half a bottle whisky in I asked Tom how it was like working in a boys club. From the broken 3 worded sentences, i could only gather very brief but still shocking insights. He said it was like a big family in there because the bar gives them food and shelter. Growing up in the country, his parents used to work in BKK and come back home. At 14, he worked illegally at 7eleven at SGD$70 a month and when he got an offical permit to work, he drove a taxi at night while studying in the day for SGD$200 a month to support his sister, grandmother and parents. I asked who the lady on Guy's necklace was and Tom said, "His mama. She dead." "Brother, sister? " " No."
I then asked if he was straight, he said they both were. So i asked what he would do if a guy customer were to buy them home, he said, very matter-of-factly, "Its work, I go." " Do you sleep with them?" " Yes, but no strong." He gestured to his crotch, "Not good sex because I don't like boy." He told me that before he started work in the boys bar, he thought for a really long time before working there. He said "no money, no honey" and that his wife left him because of money problems and that he could make what he was making in a month previously in a day at the bar. I asked which customer he didn't like, he responded with "Europeans" because they talked too fast and too much. He didn't understand them very well. He also mentioned that Japanese men were very touchy.
Can i just say, I am very impressed with myself for even remembering all this after a full bottle of whisky between 3 people only coz Tom was driving. He offered to give my friend and I a lift back to the hotel. (Again kids, I am obliged to say this was a very calculated risk. Be weary of stranger danger.) In the car guy asks if I could help with filling up his ED card because a customer in Vietnam bought him a ticket to fly over. He didn't know how to write or even speak much english so I filled it up for him. When they walked us to our hotel and asked if we wanted to sleep with them, we told them they didn't need to because we weren't interested and that I was sharing a bed with my mum. I reckon it was a way to get money out of us so to end the night, i gave him about 300 bhat for gas and the drinks and hugged and thanked them for a good last night in Bangkok. It wasn't a large amount and I guess i also felt bad after hearing his story , be it true or not.
So there you go.
I paid a hooker for a hug in Bangkok.